Tuesday, February 21, 2012

First Campaigner Challenge

A writing challenge was posted by a friend. It took several minutes for me to read the rules and decide to participate. It took quite a bit of will power to write my entry - even though it was only 200 words. It has no title yet. Here is my entry



Shadows crept across the wall as I stared across the room at the deepening darkness. The blue glow from the television soon became the only light in the room. Turning from the window, I again took in his small, cherubic face.

“How can this be happening?”  I muttered.

His attention remained focused on the movie, unaware of my inner turmoil. The routine doctor’s appointment turned into an all day nightmare as the doctors determined my son’s illness was due to Stage Four Kidney Disease.

The door creaked open as the medical staff entered once again. “Are you ready?”

Tears pricked my eyes as I shook my head. “I don’t think we’ll ever be ready. Let’s get this over with though.”

The men nodded in understanding as the procedure began. My son’s pleadings wrenched at my heart as he begged to be left alone, to go home. The proverbial dam broke as the tears flowed freely down my cheeks. I couldn’t make this hurt go away for him; I couldn’t take away his pain. My boy struggled until the medicine took effect.

My prayers flowed heavenward just as the medicine coursed through his tiny veins. Please help us overcome this trial.

For more entries, or to see the original contest, go here.  Good luck to the other entrants! Make sure you visit & read a few. Vote for your favorite!

32 comments:

  1. Oh, so sad!! But it's beautifully written. Wonderful job. You're writing made me feel like I was actually there, you had such great descriptive language. Voting for you!

    I'm entry #19

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  2. Oh this is so sad! Very lovely, though. I can't stand to think about the little boy crying for his mother. What a touching piece, and very different than most of the other entries.

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  3. This definitely has the power to stir emotions. Nice one! :)

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  4. I hope this was not based on a personal experience. :(

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    1. Unfortunately enough, it was based on personal experience. It was a very difficult day for everyone.

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  5. This is so heart wrenching sad but beautifully written.

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  6. Very heartfelt entry - well done!

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  7. Very sad, kids are so strong. They amazing me. Wonderfully written.

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  8. Wow, so sad. The ache a mother feels when her child is hurting is such a strong one. Well done.

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  9. Ohhh!! This is so sad! This is beautifully written, nice job :)

    I'm #37

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  10. Horrible and all too disturbing for anyone who has ever had to watch a child suffer.

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    1. We've had our fair share of this type of suffering. It isn't fun for Mom OR for those waiting for word at home. Thanks

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  11. Stephanie, I didn't know what was wrong with your son, I didn't want to pry, but your writing here explained it. I hope we will see you at our writer's chapter again. Prayers for your son.

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    1. Susan, It wouldn't have been prying. I just wasn't sure if I wanted to mention it because it would have been too near to the tragedy the other members of the group were facing that week. I'm hoping I can make it next week.

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  12. That's pretty powerful storytelling. You did well.


    Lee (#126 on the Campaign Challenge List)
    An A to Z Co-Host
    Tossing It Out
    Twitter: @AprilA2Z
    #atozchallenge

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  13. Replies
    1. Thanks! We have an excellent team working with us. We'll get through it!

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  14. This is powerful and emotional. I hope your son is OK.

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  15. I didn't realize this was based on a personal experience. I read the entry and was moved by the emotion in the words. I think it is beautifully done.

    I wish you and your son all the best.

    Your entry has been shortlisted as one of the top five to move onto the next round of judging. Best of luck to you.

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    1. Thanks Angela! I was having a rough day until I read your comment. You totally made my day and I thank you for that!

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  16. Congratulations Steph! I hope your entry does well, it certainly shows the emotion of your turmoil! Best Wishes for both you and your son!

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